


Just five more minutes and I'll go

by EvancexLizzie



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Momo's POV, Re:Vale deserves utter happiness, Spoilers of Part 2 & 3, Unreciprocated Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 16:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17943008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvancexLizzie/pseuds/EvancexLizzie
Summary: His gaze lingers for too long on those fingers, as the couple slowly distances itself from him, and he feels his heart clench tightly. For the first time, love hurts. Even if he already knew, even if he hasn’t given himself a reason to hope, not even once, he finds himself on the verge of crying in the middle of the street. The suffocating feeling that surrounds his body isn’t totally due to the sun anymore, he knows it. But there’s nothing he can do about it, because Yuki deserves happiness, and has found it with Ban.Momo had no right to hope to begin with but seems like Hope still had managed to find a way through Momo’s heart.





	Just five more minutes and I'll go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Moooomoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moooomoo/gifts).



> I love Re:Vale TOO MUCH and the Ban/Yuki/Momo relationship destroyed me. I swear I cried like a fucking river.  
> Also, first fic in the Idolish7 fandom. I had the sudden urge to write something about those three. Maybe next time I'll do something a little fluffier, because they damn deserve it.  
> English isn't my mother language, this is kinda beta-readed but please dont hesitate if you see any mistake !  
> And finally, this fic is a gift to my dear Moooomoo!. Thanks for making me discover Idolish7, I've never been happier in my life.  
> (Also, im on twitter under Fate_Evance. Im basic trash tho)

The first time Momo sees Re:Vale performing, he immediately falls in love with the band.  
At the exact same moment, he also falls in love with Orikasa Yukito.

There are no sparkling stars or butterflies suddenly spreading in his belly. His heart doesn’t skip a beat, nor does his body start feeling hotter. It’s nothing like he would have expected to feel, still he immediately recognizes the feeling, as if he always had been familiar with it.

He doesn’t doubt for one second that it is in fact love, the pure and strongest feeling of adoration, and that it is directed towards the silver-haired handsome man currently standing on stage, fifteen feet apart from Momo.

If you were to ask him, he wouldn’t be able to say what aspect of the man has stroke him so suddenly.

Maybe it’s his voice, because he sounds like an angel coming from the sky to whisper bewitching words at simple mortals. Maybe it’s his physic, because he looks like a model with his slim waist and his thin, long legs, the one you think only exist in magazines. Maybe it’s his manners because he moves in such a gracious and powerful way that even his missteps seem to fit in the over whole simple but tiring choreography. Maybe it’s his aura, because he surely has casted a spell on each spectator by just appearing on the stage, and no one seems able to break free from this magic. In fact, no one seems willing to do so.

Maybe it’s each of those, or maybe it’s none. Momo just knows that he’s in love with a man that he knows nothing from, and whom doesn’t even know about Momo’s existence.

 

From this moment, where time had seemed to stop and Momo’s breath had had trouble finding his throat, the young man devotes all his free time trying to become the perfect fan. He has no trouble hiding his unreciprocated love for the singer, as much as he has no shame spreading his wild adoration for the group.

Without even noticing, Re:Vale becomes gradually a huge part of Momo’s lonely life. He never misses one of their show and does his best to support them in every way possible. Sometimes, he swears he can feel Yuki’s gaze longing on him while his eyes are roaming across the room. However, he doesn’t believe for one second that his feelings will be returned one day. He doesn’t hope for anything but Re:Vale’s success, and Yuki’s happiness.

 

Momo doesn’t hope because he knows. At first, it was only a supposition, something he had guessed as his eyes were always following Yuki’s silhouette, gesture and gaze while the latter was performing on stage. Because, even if Yuki’s whole attention was directed towards his fans, he couldn’t help but being distracted from times to times by the sole man standing beside him. And when Yuki was looking at his partner, Momo would catch a glimpse in the boy’s eyes that he had never seen before, but which looked strangely familiar, strangely familiar to the one himself had been giving to the silver-haired boy.

As such, even if he had nothing to prove it at first, Momo knew that Yuki’s feelings were already entirely directed towards his partner, Ban.

But one day, his doubts stop being only doubts; they become the truth.

It’s a sunny day, the kind where you enjoy a long walk alongside the beach with your loved one, stopping halfway to pick up a nice ice cream and take pictures. Of course, there is no beach nearside where Momo lives, and the nice sunny day rapidly transforms itself in a living hell where everyone thinks he’s going to die of heat at some point. As Momo walks through the city, because he chose this day among others to do his shopping, he wonders why humans cannot behave like animals and just roam around each other completely naked. That would prevent at least everyone from feeling sizzling hot.

He seriously begins to think he might be able to cook a fried egg on his forearm if the sun continues to hit as much through the afternoon, when something, or more precisely someone catches his attention. The glimpse of an angel passing besides him. Momo turns slightly to see Yuki walking on the other side of the road. He looks clearly annoyed by the hot weather, given the grumpy expression on his face -which Momo finds utterly cute- and the rumbling that’s coming from his mouth. He’s training his feet, showing that he currently wishes he was anywhere but baking under the sun.

Momo had already figured by now that Yuki was certainly the capricious and lunatic type, and that Ban was the adult of the duet. Ban was clearly the one taking charge of everything and sometimes getting Yuki to do some unpleasant stuff as well, because you don’t always get to do only what you like in life. Yuki had no problems pouting or expressing his unhappiness for things that a normal person living in our society and being averagely sociable would fine basic to begin with. Only, Yuki was nowhere sociable. He had in fact zero skills when it came to interactions with other human beings.

Momo could only guess those characters traits by the way Ban seemed to handle everything that had to do with “adulting stuff”. Momo admired Ban greatly for this sole fact. He seemed to be someone utterly reliable, with who you could immediately get a feeling of safety and comfort. Momo wishes he could become someone like this in the future and was perfectly getting how Yuki could have fallen for someone so different from himself, but so perfect.

As a matter of fact, Ban is currently standing next to Yuki. He seems to be listening to his partner’s complaints -because even if Momo cannot hear, only complaints can come out of such an annoyed expression-, without showing any concern. He’s certainly used to it by now. But what truly catches Momo’s attention, more than the talking part, is the fact that they’re holding hands.

It’s indeed discreet, because it feels more like their fingers are being lazily interlaced and their arms are brushing against each other at each step taken. Most people certainly wouldn’t remark it -and well the street is rather empty today-, but it’s here, and it confirms Momo’s doubts.

His gaze lingers for too long on those fingers, as the couple slowly distances itself from him, and he feels his heart clench tightly. For the first time, love hurts. Even if he already knew, even if he hasn’t given himself a reason to hope, not even once, he finds himself on the verge of crying in the middle of the street. The suffocating feeling that surrounds his body isn’t totally due to the sun anymore, he knows it. But there’s nothing he can do about it, because Yuki deserves happiness, and has found it with Ban.

Momo had no right to hope to begin with but seems like Hope still had managed to find a way through Momo’s heart.

 

After the incident happening on a certain night and leading to rather unfortunate events, Momo gets to know Re:Vale personally. Even if he still loves Yuki as much as on the first day, he slowly learns to become friends with him and Ban. Well, at least he tries to.

“I’m so s-sorry Ban-san!!! You ate the lunch I brought to you, but Yuki-san told me afterwards you were allergic carrots!! I’m sorry I swear I didn’t know! There’s a hospital nearby, I can take you!” He has almost tears in his eyes, panicking over the fact that he may have caused the death of one of the members of his uttermost favorite group.

“What are you talking about, Momo-kun? I like carrots.”

“B-But, Yuki-san..”

“He was messing with you Momo-kun.” Ban’s smile is quiet, and his words reflect that. “Don’t worry, I like carrots and I’m not going anywhere near a hospital today.”

“…I-m sorry!! I should have known- I bothered you for nothing!!”

Ban just laughs and then spends the next five minutes trying to calm down Momo, who still apologizes three more times.

Ban’s laughs and smiles are the most tranquilizer on this Earth, Momo soon discovers. Ban is what we could call a “force tranquille”, and everything the youngest has ever guessed about his behavior are finding themselves to be true. He is honest, gentle, reliable, intelligent, sociable, hard-working; and can even handle the quiet but raging storm that is Yuki.

Ban knows Yuki more than anyone will ever be able to. He understands the meaning of each of his partners’ behavior, actions or words; and always reacts accordingly. To everyone, Ban’s behavior towards Yuki is often unnecessary harsh. After witnessing the first discussions between the two, Momo had initially thought the same. More precisely, he felt bad each time Ban was coming at Yuki, in a total composed but cold manner, for having badly behaved towards the youngest. But he had changed opinions after hearing Ban’s point on view.

“You know Momo-kun, Yuki isn’t a child anymore. Most people are excusing his dreadful behavior because they simply don’t care about him.” He makes a short pause. “They just see a very talented artist, a genius, with a terrible personality, but they aren’t going to bother and take the time to point that out. They just want to sell his talent, and when he becomes to insufferable, they’ll let him down.” Ban takes a sip from his bottle of water. Today’s training was rough, and he stands nowhere near Yuki when it comes to both singing and dancing. “But he needs to get a hold of himself. Honestly, how could he currently survive in this world otherwise?”

“But, that’s partly why you’re here Ban-san!” Momo hasn’t really thought before speaking, but he stills goes on. “It’s like you’re the bridge between him and the world, y’know! Thanks to you, we can benefit from Yuki-san’s talents! It’s like- you’re the one that brought him to us.”

Because Yuki is an angel descending among mortals, and only Ban can succeed in making him feel like he truly belongs here.

“Thank you Momo-kun, that’s sweet of you.” Ban’s smile is truthful but hides something painful. “But, you know, I might not always be there for him. He should learn to behave in society so he can manage by himself. That’d be indeed very selfish of me to keep him to myself, and not good for his own well-being.”

“What do you mean, Ban-san? You’re always gonna be together!! Re:Vale is gonna be real famous one day, trust me!” Momo wanted to sort that out nicely, but it comes more as a desperate scream hidden under a smiley face and an energic tone. Momo’s heart clenches at the sole thought of Yuki and Ban not being together anymore. It had never crossed his mind before, but it makes him sweat and suffocate immediately. There is a vague of panic suddenly rushing through his body, whereas his mind starts imagining the worst possible scenario.

Ban notices the fear in Momo’s eyes immediately.

“Calm down, Momo-kun, I didn’t say that I was planning on disappearing. I want nothing more than Re:Vale success.” Momo’s breath slows down. “But we never know what to expect from the future, and we can never be too prudent about it. I can assure you though that I’ll still do my best to show Yuki’s genius to everyone.”

He says the last words with a fond smile on his face, as his mind starts wandering somewhere else. Ban loves Yuki so much it’s palpable in the air. Every action Ban undertakes is for Yuki’s sake, even if it isn’t gentle and if most people don’t notice it. All that matters to Ban, at any time of the day or night, is how to make Yuki happy. How to protect Yuki from the cruel entertainment industry. How to enable Yuki to express his talents.

Momo knew it from the start. Ban’s life revolves around Yuki. He could die for him.

 

Sometimes Momo lies awake at night, and he wonders if he truly deserves to stand besides those two.

Sure, he isn’t anxious anymore about calling them his friends, and knowing it’s reciprocated. He cannot help but doubt it, because behind Momo’s cheerfulness and devotion lies a well-hidden anxiety that easily takes the better of him. But even him can somehow dismiss the thought, by remembering how often they now hang out together.

Still, does he truly have the right to be there?

Momo still loves Yuki as much as on the first day. At first, that made it difficult to be around the idol without getting nervous or awkward. The feeling was even stronger knowing Yuki couldn’t figure him out for the first weeks and was kind of suspicious about the true hidden intentions that could lie behind Momo’s devoted behavior. As such, the youngest had even more problems showing that he was just a fan, someone whom life had changed by listening to Re:Vale’s music. Hopefully, Ban had been the bridge between the two and had enabled the connection to be made. Momo would never be thankful enough to him for that.

His feelings for Yuki are well-hidden, and he doesn’t plan on declaring himself one day. For Momo, Yuki and Ban are some sort of soulmates. That’s actually all he could think of when Ban had told him about their encounter and the beginning of Re:Vale. They had found each other in a clumsy but perfect way, and they were destined to rise to the top together. Ban’s organization skills and Yuki’s talent at composing were a well-found match, and it was just a question of time before the whole Japan would come to know them.

They had never told Momo that they were also involved in a romantic way, but it wasn’t about hiding it. Public display of affection was a rare thing between them, however Momo knew it was simply their way to be together. Sometimes he could catch Ban peeking a quick kiss on Yuki’s cheek, or would find the latter casually stroking his hand through the hair of the former.

“You should let your hair grow, Ban.” Yuki’s voice sounds like melody. “It would suit you perfectly.”

“Wouldn’t it be bothersome for the dancing part though?” Ban lingers softly at the touch. He’s holding a cup of coffee in one hand and his phone on the other, checking for the next avenue to rent for their future concert. Lately, more and more people have been coming to their show.

“You could attach them. A ponytail is a perfect haircut for a future ikemen.” Ban chuckles.

“A future ikemen? Is this supposed to be a compliment? It sure doesn’t sound as one coming from you.”

“You always think I’m only capable of saying mean things, Ban.” Yuki pouts. That’s cute and everyone usually falls for it, but his boyfriend.

“I was joking, Yuki. I will consider it…” He lingers on his words for a few seconds. “…But only if you also give it a try.”

“…You want me to let my hair grow?”

“Sure. Your hair looks like silk, and with your androgynous look, it would attract even more people to our show. I can perfectly picture it.” Yuki seems to seriously consider the thought. Ban doesn’t let him the time to answer though and decides to activate his trap card. “What do you think about it, Momo-kun? Wouldn’t you find Yuki more handsome with long hair?”

Momo’s breath gets stuck in his breath as he raises his head from the homework he was currently doing on the other side of the table. “S-Sure!” He takes a few seconds to consider that this quick answer might have sounded rude. “I mean, Yuki-san is already handsome! But I’m sure long hair would be perfect for his looks!” He asserts this with so much forwardness and conviction that it seems to catch Yuki by surprise. Ban chuckles once again, looking at Momo. “You could even braid them afterwards!” The sight of Yuki with a plait is somewhat difficult to imagine, and both idols wonder how the youngest could have come up with such an idea.

“Come on Momo, you don’t have to caress his ego. It’s already big enough as it is. He won’t say anything now, but in two hours you can be sure I will get the whole “Momo-kun said I’m handsome and he always tells the truth” sketch.”

“I-I don’t do anything like that!” Yuki answers quickly. The room is suddenly filled with laughers coming from both Ban and Momo.

Momo can see Yuki’s cheeks turning red from where he stands. Yuki gets easily embarrassed, for things the youngest doesn’t always get. But he finds it utterly cute. Everything about Yuki is cute and loveable after all. As such, the warm feeling that took place inside his chest from the first time he saw the genius performing on scene gets more comfortable with each day passing by.

If Ban knows about Momo’s secret feelings for his boyfriend, he never brings up the topic. Still, Momo doesn’t know if he deserves to feel like this while sitting with them. Laughing as casually as that, with his beloved crush, his angel, and the lover of the later, while he sometimes wished he could be the one casually stroking Yuki’s hair or lacing their fingers together.

Momo doesn’t have any hope and wishes nothing more in the world than Ban’s and Yuki’s happiness. Most of the days, he hopes they will end up getting married, after having taken over the Japanese entertainment business. He imagines himself as boy of honor, casually throwing rice at them and getting to talk about Yuki’s ill-mannered habits. That’s a bright future, the one they deserve.

However, they are still days where his feelings take the better of him, and it tastes like betrayal.

 

He just wishes he never had those feelings to begin with. It’s partially his fault, if it ended up like that. It cannot be otherwise. God must have overheard him and decided to punish him for holding such undesirable ideals. That’s the only reasonable explanation he can come up with.

He doesn’t recall exactly how he had come to know about this. Every memory surrounding this day is still blurry, certainly because his mind is begging to forget. It already hurts so much.

Ban had an accident while rehearsing on stage. A bad one, where he ended up in the hospital being said that he needed surgery to wash the hideous scar from his pretty face. It was pricey enough, but nothing they wouldn’t be able to offer, given that a production agency had approached Yuki some weeks ago. They weren’t going to be indies anymore thanks to that, everything will be alright.

Momo hadn’t doubted for one second about a possible bat outcome, because they deserved their happiness. They had worked so hard to obtain it, had told him about the days where they couldn’t even afford to eat, and Yuki had to go wash some old man’s car to get a decent meal for his partner. Life couldn’t be so unfair as to strike one final blow.

But Ban had disappeared one day without any warning, and Momo knew inside him that he wasn’t planning on coming back. The news of his disappearance had struck him like thunder and left him without words for a few seconds. But one thought had come practically immediately afterwards, had spread panic and anxiety, and he had found himself running through the city without thinking twice. Yuki-san.

“Yuki-san! Yuki-san, open please! Yuki-san!” Momo has been knocking at the door for five minutes. He isn’t planning on leaving anytime soon. He fears for Yuki’s well-being, more than he has ever feared for his own life.

Eventually the door opens, but there’s no one to welcome him. Momo steps inside and the sight he gets to witness is even worse than what he had first imagined.

Yuki is an utter mess. His body has gotten incredibly slimmer, his cheeks are excavated, his eyes are red and puffy, with dark circles below them. He certainly hasn’t changed clothes for days, neither has he gotten into a shower. There’re certainly no groceries left in his apartment, and even if it were, those will be long past perished. Ban was the one always throwing stuff away, to avoid Yuki from intoxicating himself.

Momo doesn’t know what to say. He’s struck with the sudden realization that he has never been completely alone with Yuki. As such, he lets a heavy silence take place, where all he can hear are Yuki’s strangled sobs.

“I-I searched for him…” Yuki sits on his bed, where he certainly has spent the most of these last days. “I searched for him everywhere, I swear. But… I can’t find him.”

Momo believes him. He has seen multiple posters in the neighborhood while passing by. It has been a few weeks already, and Yuki has certainly searched through the whole city, without any result. Ban doesn’t want to be found.

Yuki suddenly bursts in tears. He doesn’t have the courage to hide this hideous face. In fact, he certainly doesn’t care anymore. Momo can feel his heart being teared opened upon watching this sight. He barely holds it together, but he must, for his sake. “I-I just don’t know why… Why did he do that…”

Ban had left without a warning. He hadn’t even said goodbye.

“I-…. Ban-san had certainly his reasons…”

“I… I don’t care… If he didn’t want me to pay for the surgery, he should have told me!” There is rage and pain and sadness, but it’s weak. Yuki is too weak to even burst out. There are only sobs and tears. “I didn’t care if he had a scar… I just… wanted to be with him… I didn’t care about our future in the music industry…”

“Don’t say that!” Momo interrupts him shortly. Yuki barely looks at him. “Ban-san wouldn’t want you to stop music. There… must be a reason behind his actions. But you need to continue Re-“

“There’s no point, Momo. Re:Vale is dead.”

Those words hang heavily in the air. They shock Momo to a point where he needs to gather himself for a new seconds before answering. He can’t let it end like this. Everyone deserves to witness Yuki’s true genius, as much as Yuki deserves to be heard and known. Everyone deserves to get the same feeling as Momo. Yuki is the angel that belongs among mortals.

“Re:Vale isn’t dead, Yuki-san, you can still perform…”

“I can’t. Not without Ban.” It’s sickening to hear a voice where melody has disappeared. Yuki barely turns his head to face Momo, his gaze filled with pain and betrayal. “He was… he was the only reason I was able to do this from the beginning…”

“No, no, no.” Momo cannot hear this. He has to find a solution, for Yuki’s sake. “I-I will do it! Please Yuki-san, continue Re:Vale with me as Ban-san’s replacement!”

“…Stop it Momo. I-I just want to be alone. Leave.” His words are cold and harsh. He immediately puts a wall between himself and Momo, refusing to hear his proposal. “Please.”

“… I will come back tomorrow...”

Momo agrees to step back for this time. But he doesn’t admit defeat.

 

Momo comes back every day with the same proposal, for weeks. The idea had come suddenly, he had clearly never thought of it beforehand, but it cannot let it go now. It feels like the only right thing he can do to save Yuki, who seems to slowly but certainly disappear from the world. He doesn’t interact with anyone apart from the youngest anymore, and their discussions are often short. At some point, he doesn’t even let Momo inside his room, because he cannot stand to hear him. He certainly opens the door only out of consideration. The little consideration for Momo still lingering in him because of Ban.

Momo doesn’t know how the idea came, or even if it’s truly a good one. He has never sung or danced in his life, and the only sport he played is soccer. Still, he thinks he can pull it off. He doesn’t need to be near as good as Ban. He just needs to stand besides Yuki and be the connection between the latter and the outside world. He needs to become the reason Yuki still stands on scene.

He tries different manners to present his idea. It never works. Most of the time, he also brings food and drink along. When Yuki eats half of it, Momo considers it a success. But, if Yuki’s physical condition seems to have stabilized a bit, his mental health just keeps worsening.

There is no helping it, considering Yuki doesn’t write or compose anymore. Ban had told Momo some time ago that doing music was the only reason to live that Yuki had. He was considering it to be the sole purpose of his presence on Earth. However, he couldn’t bring himself to do that anymore, because he had started to associate music and Ban together. As such, there was no reason that kept him going, and he was slowly letting himself die.

“It doesn’t have to be forever!” Momo begins to fall short of reasons or compromises. He doesn’t plan on giving up any time soon, but it’s starting to become difficult. “If you become famous, it’ll be easier to find Ban-san!”

At some point, Yuki has stopped crying in front of Momo. He just watches him with empty eyes, which sometimes show a glimpse of interest at what the youngest is saying. Usually, speaking of Ban is a good way to catch his attention.

“I’m asking for five years. Let me be with-“ He stops. He doesn’t have the right to hold those thoughts. “Let me be a part of Re:Vale during five years, the time for you to find Ban-san. Afterwards, I promise I’ll let you alone.”

He cannot gather the thought of Yuki not being a part of his life anymore, but he has no right to think like this. Yuki doesn’t belong to him, he never has from the start, and he never will. Momo just wants Yuki’s utter happiness, and it lies in his future in the entertainment industry, as well as in the thought of finding Ban again. There is no place where Yuki can be happy solely because of Momo. He doesn’t know lots of things, but he certainly gets that.

“Fine. I will do it.”

It is short and it lets Momo breathless.

Momo has never happier in his life. When he comes home this night, after weeks of bundling his feelings and showing nothing but determination, he lets himself cry to sleep. He is so relieved he cannot hold it back anymore.

Finally, Yuki is going to get better.

 

It’s hard. They struggle, a lot. Momo has to learn everything from scratch, but Yuki is a good teacher, so it’s easier than he initially thought.

Overall, the roles end up quite reversed, and Yuki is the one taking care of Momo. He is the oldest of the two and the one with experience in the music industry, so he takes his role seriously. Momo can feel that Yuki doesn’t want to cause any disappointment and has made his duty to protect him. He likes it and tries to not read too much in this.

They stop being indies and start becoming famous. Yuki still looks out for Ban and doesn’t give up, Momo stills loves Yuki and helps him in his search. At some point, they stop talking about him. Things have changed so much in a few years, and they are now so busy. They have just been told that they were having their own talk show starting next month. Momo is overflowing with joy.

Dealing with people in the entertainment industry was tough at the beginning, but Momo has found himself to do a pretty good job in the end. He is always cheerful, jokes with the staff and helps with the small stuff when he can. He honestly loves his job. The kouhai that come afterwards are like the cherry on the cake, the thing that was missing to make the whole situation perfect. Momo couldn’t honestly dream of better youngsters to become idols, and he wishes that whatever life throws at them, it won’t be as hard as it was for Re:Vale.

Him and Yuki get used to joke about being a couple. Of course, it is a joke, and everyone is laughing about it because no one would consider it to be potentially true. Not that it bothers Momo. Practically all his wishes are fulfilled by now. He gets to spend most of his time with Yuki, and Yuki seems to have found happiness once again.

Soon, they’re about to celebrate their fifth anniversary. Momo cannot find sleep anymore and he is struggling with such anxiety that it even prevents him to sing at some point.

Momo has always been struggling with anxiety since the day they formed the new Re:Vale. Soon after the announcement, he understood that he wasn’t the only one who missed Ban and that some other fans, starting with his sister, weren’t too happy about this.

_“I’m sure you’re happy that Ban disappeared!”_  
_“Well you don’t have to share Yuki with someone else now.”_  
_“The only thing you were good at was soccer, let’s face that.”_  
_“You ain’t taking this seriously and Yuki is gonna regret his choice.”_

Momo knew from the start that he was a good-for-nothing and was somehow glad that others were acknowledging his thoughts. Even if those comments had stopped after a while, he still believed it as much as back then. Those feelings were still there five years later, lingering in the back of his mind, remembering daily that he should feel guilty for finding happiness about the present outcome.

If he loved performing with Yuki, that could only mean that he was pleased with Ban’s disappearance. At some point, he may have even been responsible for it, who knows. As such, he was spending sleepless nights lying in his bed and silently hating himself.

He wanted nothing more than Yuki’s happiness, but he had never felt happiness on his own. If Yuki was a calm river, Momo was the empty snail shell living besides it.

 

However, a day comes where Momo feels it.

“I don’t want Re:Vale to end after those five years, Momo. I want to keep singing with you.” Yuki’s words resonate within his whole body and he’s left speechless. Without any warning, tears start falling down his cheeks. “Oh, Momo, don’t cry.” Momo can almost hear Ban’s loving and exasperating sigh coming from the closed door of their lodge.

“Y-You sure, Yuki?” He cannot stop crying, but there is this warm feeling inside that body that tells him it’s okay. “You don’t want to find Ban-san anymore? Y-You don’t want to be with him anymore?”

He has trouble finding coherent words right now. The concert at the Zero Arena is scheduled for tomorrow, and the last weeks have been exhausting, both from a physical and mental point of view. Momo has never felt so tired in his own life. Tired of behaving as if everything was alright, whereas the whole situation was totally messed up from the start. Tired of believing he belonged besides Yuki whereas he had never done anything to deserve it. Tired of not being able to sing or calm down his crippling anxiety whereas his partner was putting so much efforts to make sure everything would sort out nicely.

“… It’s true that I still would like to find him. However, I don’t want anything more than to stand on stage besides you.” Yuki makes a short pause. He also has a hard time to formulate his words, and the sight of Momo crying seems to pain him beyond words. “I don’t want you to make you sad. If finding him means hurting you, I’m ready to give up.”

Yuki makes a short step towards the youngest. He hesitates a little before taking the hands of his partner into his and holding them like they are the most precious thing in the world.

“You saved me Momo. You are my angel.” Momo’s heart skips a beat. Everything is going to be okay. “I just want to make you happy. Are you happy being a part of Re:Vale, with me?”

“O-Of course!” Momo tries his best to put an end to his sobs. “I know I shouldn’t say that, but I’ve never been happier than during these five years besides you… You make me so happy, Yuki…” He loves you, Yuki. He has always loved you, he is on the verge on saying it, but the words keep being stuck in his throat.

“Than, everything is alright. I truly don’t need anything else.”

Momo rises his head a little to see Yuki’s face. He sees this rare but genuine sweet smile. The one that has always managed to calm him down when he was having panic attacks before an important meeting or a huge concert. The one he has always only shown to either Ban or Momo.

Momo stops crying, slowly. The final words don’t come out, but there is no need. At the end, they’ll manage.

 

At some point, and with their kouhai’s great help, they find Ban, who’s been hiding all along inside the Takanashi Productions agency.

Momo still has second thoughts about what this reunion could mean, but he tries his best to trust Yuki’s words. As such, he doesn’t show any doubt or panic, nor does he ask whether Yuki would like to return with Ban.

He still loves Yuki as much as on the first day and still hasn’t declared himself. Everyone but Yuki would already have gotten the hint by now, but the oldest is quite oblivious about anything that doesn’t concern music. Momo’s thoughts about the whole situation are an honest mess, and he doesn’t have anyone to turn to. All the people he knows don’t have any kind of romantic experience.

“Momo-kun? It’s rare to see you alone.”

Momo turns to see Ban standing behind him. They’re inside the corridor of a TV station. Re:Vale is filming his talk show tonight and MEZZO” was invited as guest.

The both of them haven’t had time to really talk since the fifth Re:Vale anniversary and the concert at Zero Arena. When Ban appears, Momo tends to fly the scene and let Yuki catch up with him without being bothered by the presence of a third wheel. He doesn’t know if the two of them got back together but he tries his best to not think about it.

“Oh, Ban-san! Good evening!” He smiles widely. Momo still loves and admires Ban so much, his chest cannot help but get warmer each time he sees the manager. “Yuki is in our lodge, if you wanna see him before the show starts!”

“Hum, well to be honest, you were the one I wanted to see.” Ban seems a little lost in his thoughts. “You always disappear each time I come to see Re:Vale.”

“I don’t want to bother the heartfelt reunion between Ban-san and Yuki! You guys have certainly a lot of catching up to do!”

“That’s thoughtful of you, Momo-kun. Still, I would appreciate if you were here. Yuki is more enjoyable when you’re around.” He makes a short pause before adding. “It’s way easier to make fun of him while you’re here, he gets so easily embarrassed.”

They both laugh quietly, because it’s true that Yuki doesn’t like to be reminded about embarrassing stuff in front of Momo. He has quite gotten used to be the charismatic leader who takes in charge everything and he’s easily embarrassed when Ban reminds him of his early days.

“It’s true that I can’t miss my precious Yuki from being teased!” He laughs again before realizing how much his words could have the wrong meaning. “I-I mean…”

“Yuki and I aren’t back together.” Ban cuts Momo’s forward apology with a certain forwardness, as if he has waited to say this from the beginning. The youngest cannot hide the surprise showing on his face, and the complicated feelings rushing through his brain. Ban smiles quietly. “You have nothing to fear from me. But you can be sure that he isn’t going to make the first move.” Ban suddenly sighs. “This one is so dumb when it comes to-“

“Momo! Oh… You’re also here Ban.” Momo turns once again to see Yuki coming out of their lodge and walking towards them. He kind of silently curses his partner for interrupting this discussion. Or, maybe that was for the best, because a strange feeling was starting to form inside his chest.

“You said my name with such a flat tone, Yuki, it’s almost as if you’re disappointed to see me.” Ban sighs. “I hope you’re not as rude with the other managers.”

“I was just wondering what could keep Momo away from me for such a long time.” Yuki stops when he arrives by Momo’s side. “And I’ve made real progress in terms of social skills.”

“Well, given from where you were starting, you could hardly get any worse.”

They start arguing, but Momo doesn’t keep track of their discussion. He’s too focused on Yuki, and on what Ban said just before his arrival. His chest suddenly gets warmer, and the strange feeling that was hiding deep inside gets stronger. It’s been a long time since this feeling has come forward, such a long time that Momo had almost forgot about it.

Hope. Maybe there’s hope after all. Maybe it doesn’t have to be as complicated as he thinks.

It’s going to take time to acknowledge this feeling and do something about it. But Momo smiles widely as he fondly looks at Yuki.

They now have all the time in the world to get into it.


End file.
